*Happiness On The Stake*

Like in a bad dream
the fear
             is back
As a reminder
of who I really am

My strength fails me
the colours are blurred
The weakness
                         laughs
Lurks behind the corner

Perhaps it is true
I am not able
                      to live
beyond the ruins of my life
Not without
hurting everyone on my way
I will never
                 learn
how to hold the precious heart
that lays in my palm

To hold it without losing the grip
letting it
             fall
and be crushed
by my constantly darkened mind
that burns this happiness
at the stake

My silence is full of answers
that will never
                       leave
the treshold of my lips
All about a fear
that corrodes me
                             Hidden
behind my smile

If I only could posses
the blissful ignorance of a stone
and just be
                  immersed
into the soft shade of oblivion
into the endless hole of indifference

But my treacherous heart
beats another story
Unable to
                tell lies
it just bleeds
in a desperate desire to keep
this love within

The love that will finaly
                                     slip away
tired of my unhappy thoughts
disappointed
because of my unexplainable gloom

Perhaps there’s no cure
against the curse
The curse is me
Afraid of the darkness
yet constantly
                       terrified
of the light

***

© Eclipse 2008 – 2011

Shared on One Shot Wednesday
Big Tent Poetry and Poetry Potluck

~ by Eclipse on May 3, 2011.

32 Responses to “*Happiness On The Stake*”

  1. You, I like to read sooo much, becuase I can completely relate to your words.. as if U read my mind and write often.. amazing again!

  2. What beautiful writing.

  3. Love your word placements..

  4. […] Eclipse: https://eclipseofthemoon.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/happiness-on-the-stake/ […]

  5. Hello,
    Appreciate your participation at poets rally,
    Please return favor to poets who are here yet you did not reach them initially,
    Bless your day.
    Have fun!

    LET US KNOW AFTER YOU ARE DONE.
    😉

  6. Beautifully captured – the way only poetry can.

  7. Aren’t we talking about how I feel in my unguarded moments sometimes? Stop reading my mind, Eclipse, lol.

    Thank you for sharing. This piece spoke to me and is very well-worded.

    Ms. Queenly
    cradleofchicadas.wordpress.com

  8. Profound. Lovely job!

  9. Fear is evil. It destroys life. Sometimes we come to the brink before we decide to overcome. This is so sad.

    http://judyidliketosay.blogspot.com/2011/05/why-not.html

  10. To revel in the melancholy, acknowledging the comfort in the dark. Without the light the safety of the shadows doesn’t exist. Remaining on the fringes, eyes become accustomed to both. Loved the mood throughout. This was a very brave, well written introspective self disclosure. Many can benefit from your honesty here.

  11. Oh, I do like love becoming tired of the depressions.

  12. Very good!

  13. Lovely form on paper. Seems you’ve hit a universal. Well done!

  14. Never leave the threshold of my lips. stellar. Lil dark, but honestly penned. Great read.

  15. Easy to relate to this one – nicely done!

  16. I read the entire piece with increasing speed, wanting to get to the end so I could tell you that you will learn to love the light, learn to love well. See… I AM the ultimate Pollyannna, Mother-Hen kinda woman!

  17. the trap of uncertainty, the trap within one’s own conflicting feelings… Beautiful as always Eclipse..

  18. OMG – Eclipse … such raw emotion present … I can relate … there are many of us waiting at the other side of this darkness for you to emerge as a resurrected butterfly … metamorphosis is occurring! Take care my friend …

  19. Easy to relate to …. Nice!

  20. YOu are never cursed..
    Eclipse you always put into words what others find so hard to, and you bring the depth of your soul, the core of your being into all you write… A gift is given in one hand.. and a Curse in the other….

    A heart.. is there Bleeding, but beating.. none the less.. Your Silence is full of Answers… Many just forget to listen.. One Beat at a time…..
    Love Dreamwalker x

  21. Very familiar with these contrasting feelings. You did a superb job of putting them down in words. You are beautiful.

  22. wow. really well done verse…the darkness yourself, which you are afraid of as well as the light, think many could relate…

  23. whoaa…. the depth in this poem is unfathomable! It’s a horrid feeling to be caught in the in-between worlds – one of knowing, and the other of unfeeling… it’s like a certain path to doom…
    Very very well written, Eclipse! Bravo!!

  24. “Perhaps there’s no cure
    against the curse
    The curse is me
    Afraid of the darkness
    yet constantly
    terrified
    of the light”

    Sums up in 21 words what has taken me a lifetime to comprehend.

  25. “Perhaps it is true
    I am not able
    to live
    beyond the ruins of my life
    Not without
    hurting everyone on my way
    I will never
    learn
    how to hold the precious heart
    that lays in my palm”

    Deeply introspective and saddening poem—well done and flows emotionally.

  26. I know this feeling up n close!
    I was here till over a year back myself for good 2 years.. Then one day I started to write..

    Things did change. Not only words healed me but also re- invented me. Now, there’s no void. I am in love with my words.. They communicate with me like any other human being. That vacuum is gone!

    Sending you many Hugs xoxox

  27. I’m writing this comment with tears in my eyes … because there are hundreds of thousands of us, my dear friend … You are never alone …We are never alone … call it curse, call it gift … you so blessed, don’t ever forget, eh? Love, cat.

  28. I Love you forever darling ~kiss~

  29. i love the dark but i still afraid of it,,
    lucky to found this post,,
    mesmerizing!

  30. have faith, I know just how horrible the world is, but you have to hav efaith. It is what has kept me going, and even tho i am dying now, I have been given the change to see my children turn into young adults. and that, that to me is worth everything. all the pain, breaks, and deaths. believe. it will someday be ok.

    love and light.
    Luna

  31. sad…….well done.

    A++

  32. Wow, thanks for sharing. Being afraid of both the dark and the light…how does one even begin to function under such capacity. This is really great, and I’m glad I found it post-AZ Challenge.

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