EclipseOfTheMoon

From the Pocket of a Dream

*The Wishing Well*

My first try on a rhyme….ever
….would be grateful for a feedback…
(….don’t be gentle 🙂 )

Written for Carry On tuesday
and writer’s island
(Thanks to keiths ramblings  for the inspiration)

***

In a morn by break of day
on my dusty heavy way
tired of the endless walk
I thirsted for a drop of talk

Not a soul around the desert
not in past nor in the present
If there is a way to see
Show yourself inside of me

My eyes need a crumb of rest
to be sure to seize the reason
Is my life a trial test
Just a whack of one dark season

The story is too long to tell
Not a sign of any brightness
I dug deep the wishing well
My arms still just full of darkness

***
© Eclipse 2008 – 2011

(image by peperonity.com)

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8 comments on “*The Wishing Well*

  1. gsb3
    June 1, 2011

    My own interpretation of “my arms just full of darkness” makes me think of how dark my own poetry can be many times. Darkly serious. I think it is good to loosen up sometimes, good for the mind, good for the body, and good for the writing skills. I know from experience that being too serious can get you stuck. I am no success, but I wish you well in your new endeavors. Mix it up!

  2. Isabel
    May 12, 2011

    wouldn’t know it was your first attempt if you had not told me. great poem

  3. rosemarymonteith
    May 10, 2011

    Beautiful poem Eclipse, you have proved to yourself you can do it, when you wish.

  4. Kim Nelson
    May 10, 2011

    Terrific first effort. If this is a skill you want to hone, practice, practice, practice. Mary Oliver tells us to write all the time, try what we want to improve, and I agree.

    • eclipseofthemoon
      May 10, 2011

      Thank you very much Kim for such a positive encouragement, I do agree as well, so I’ll practice more… 🙂

  5. Sue Dreamwalker
    May 10, 2011

    “If there is no way to see, show yourself inside of me” You have showed that you can write Rhyme Eclipse..

    A beautiful poem, You are too Hard upon yourself dear Eclipse in many ways…

    Now I would find it hard to write how you do.. For Im always used to writing in Rhyme…

    Wishing you a Day when you look into your Wishing Well, and All your Dreams are fulfilled..
    Love to you dear friend.. Dreamwalker xox

    • eclipseofthemoon
      May 10, 2011

      Thanks a lot Dreamwalker… the feedback like this one and from a talented writer as you are…well…I’ll try to relax then 🙂
      Love and hugs back

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This entry was posted on May 10, 2011 by in Poetry and tagged , , , .
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