*The Wishing Well*

My first try on a rhyme….ever
….would be grateful for a feedback…
(….don’t be gentle 🙂 )

Written for Carry On tuesday
and writer’s island
(Thanks to keiths ramblings  for the inspiration)


In a morn by break of day
on my dusty heavy way
tired of the endless walk
I thirsted for a drop of talk

Not a soul around the desert
not in past nor in the present
If there is a way to see
Show yourself inside of me

My eyes need a crumb of rest
to be sure to seize the reason
Is my life a trial test
Just a whack of one dark season

The story is too long to tell
Not a sign of any brightness
I dug deep the wishing well
My arms still just full of darkness

© Eclipse 2008 – 2011

(image by peperonity.com)

~ by Eclipse on May 10, 2011.

8 Responses to “*The Wishing Well*”

  1. My own interpretation of “my arms just full of darkness” makes me think of how dark my own poetry can be many times. Darkly serious. I think it is good to loosen up sometimes, good for the mind, good for the body, and good for the writing skills. I know from experience that being too serious can get you stuck. I am no success, but I wish you well in your new endeavors. Mix it up!

  2. wouldn’t know it was your first attempt if you had not told me. great poem

  3. Beautiful poem Eclipse, you have proved to yourself you can do it, when you wish.

  4. Terrific first effort. If this is a skill you want to hone, practice, practice, practice. Mary Oliver tells us to write all the time, try what we want to improve, and I agree.

  5. “If there is no way to see, show yourself inside of me” You have showed that you can write Rhyme Eclipse..

    A beautiful poem, You are too Hard upon yourself dear Eclipse in many ways…

    Now I would find it hard to write how you do.. For Im always used to writing in Rhyme…

    Wishing you a Day when you look into your Wishing Well, and All your Dreams are fulfilled..
    Love to you dear friend.. Dreamwalker xox

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